Cartwheels and Collapses

13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29)

A few months, ago a reader approached me concerned about my happiness based on my social media presence. This forced me to step back and examine what I'm putting forth - how I'm writing, and the image I'm giving everyone. 

And what I want to tell you is that I am happy - and some days I'm not. There are days when the visible grace around me overwhelms me to the point of tears. There are days when all I can see is the endless one-foot-in-front-of-the-other path that spans ahead of me all the way up to forever, and I have to strain hard to see the grace around me. But I do strain to see it - and God just keeps heaping enough of it over me to be able to do that.

Life is such a grand, complex gift - and I'm not one thing or the other all the time. There are pieces of me that are still broken but there are others that are overwhelmingly full of joy and glee. Is that true of you, too? The deepest desire of my heart is to let you see my ache - the pieces of my that are still broken - that I'm still watching for Jesus to stitch right up. And for you to know that I believe Him for that. I believe Him for the healing. Because I was healed. I am being healed. And I will be healed. This is what it is to follow Jesus into eternity. 

So, friends - today, if you look out on your life and you can't help but swell up big with gratitude - that's good, so good - and true. But if you are sad and exceptionally aware of those still broken pieces - that's good, too, especially if you are looking for Jesus to put them back together again. If all you can find to be grateful for today is Jesus Himself, that is enough. That is, in fact, all there is. And it's just as true, sweet friend. Don't think that you're all wrong because you're not cartwheeling through life like your neighbor. Whether you are cartwheeling or collapsing - if you are doing it toward Jesus, you are doing it right. So, so right. And I want you to know that you are seen. He sees you where you are, as you are.