"...But it wasn't my fault anyway, was it?"
The Lion looked straight into her eyes.
"Oh Aslan," said Lucy. "You don't mean it was? How could I - I couldn't have left the others to come up to you alone, how could I? Don't look at me like that... oh well, I suppose I could. Yes, and I wouldn't have been alone, I know, not if I was with you. But what would have been the good?"
Aslan said nothing.
"You mean," said Lucy rather faintly, "that it would have turned out all right - somehow? But how? Please, Aslan! Am I not to know?"
"To know what would have happened, child?" said Aslan. "No. Nobody is ever told that."
"Oh dear," said Lucy.
"But anyone can find out what will happen..."
I absolutely love The Chronicles of Narnia. This particular excerpt is from Prince Caspian, when Lucy meets Aslan again for the first time. She saw him calling her to follow him earlier in the day but did not obey because her brothers and sisters did not believe she actually saw him. As a result, their party went a different direction and nearly suffered tragedy and also lost a great deal of valuable time in reaching their destination from which they would make a plan to save Narnia.
So often I fail to do the thing or delay doing the thing and I give God a whole mess of bad excuses. About how it was impossible. Or awkward. Or intrusive. Or already taken care of.
And then after He has looked into my eyes and I have confessed that He is right and I am wrong, that I could have done it and should have done it with His help, I can't help but wonder in my heart of hearts if tragedy could have been averted. Or if I could have reached my next destination sooner without this nasty little pitfall. Or if my marriage would be richer. Or friends more abundant. Or my year more pleasant. You just wonder what might've been, you know, when you realize you made the wrong choice.
"You mean," I said rather faintly, "that it would have been better - somehow? But how? Please, King-Friend! Can't I know?"
"To know what would have happened, child?" said my King-Friend. "No. Nobody is ever told that."
"Well crud," I said.
"But anyone can find out what will happen..."
Let's find out. Keep on keepin' it down and dirty, folks!
I can just hear you ( and me, for that matter) saying "Well, crud!" Thanks for your honesty and the reminder of the hope that calls me to a higher standard.
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