Monthly Meal Planning - FREEBIE ALERT!

Photo by Molly Townsend, Queen of Photography

I write a lot about super serious things here - reflective, heart things. And I like that because I want you to know that you're not the only one that deals with the hard stuff while you smile and love and give. However, I also want you to know that there are tools and ways to make the practical side of life easier! I want you to know that I act like an idiot with my kids. That when I'm away from them for a few hours and then return, I'm so glad to see their little faces. I want you to know that while I yearn for all sorts of things that aren't yet mine, that may never be mine, I also feel enormously grateful for all the things I do have. Sometimes I am so full up with joy and gratitude that I feel like I might bust. I want you to know that while I wrestle with defeat and the feeling of being utterly overwhelmed, I have also collected a few tricks that help our family do "us."

That's the truth.

A few months ago, I posted on Instagram (my favorite social media platform, btw) about monthly meal planning and grocery shopping and a lot of you were super curious about how that works.

Here's the deal - I'm a 60% right-brainer and a 40% left brainer. While that can be wildly helpful in the skill set department, it can also make me straight crazy in the balance department. What I mean is, if I was primarily right-brained, it would be far easier for me to focus on crafts and play time and big, fun hooplah with my family - and embrace a little more chaos. If I was primarily left-brained, it would be far easier for me to focus on details and schedules and discipline - and embrace a little more structure. I would naturally lean a good bit in one direction or the other...I think. And as long as they are not competing against one another, I do just fine. But since I am both, and motherhood absolutely does require full function of the right and left brain, it behooves me to take some detail, decision-making out of my everyday. The details drain me while I'm trying to be present with my people - and it matters very much to me that I be present with my people. Also, I actually love to cook - it's grounding and rhythmic nature is nourishment for my creative, introverted soul. When all the people need me and I really just need to get something on the ever-lovin' table, things start to unravel.

Good planning makes space for more settled meal times, and some of my most treasured childhood memories revolve around meal times - because we all sat around a set table - with glass plates and real silverware, and ate a meal at least 4 nights/week. This is a thing that is important for me to accomplish in my own home. Monthly meal planning is one way I am able to throw myself a bone and, every once in a while, enjoy cooking a meal! Want to hear how it works AND get your own FREE, color-coded menu calendar?

FAN-tastic.

1. Breakfast & Lunch - I hate the process of deciding what's to eat for breakfast and lunch. I really don't mind preparing it, but I'm not a fan of choosing items and having my kids decide they don't want what I chose. This way, they know what's coming. If they choose not to eat, too bad, so sad. They can eat better at the next meal. So, I plan a week's worth and then repeat them every week. 
2. Supper - I plan my suppers (or dinners) by month. I cook 4 times/week. I repeat that same menu every month for that season. The one pictured here is for summer. So, we eat a different meal every night for 4 weeks. Then, I rinse, wash, and repeat until the next season rolls around.
3. Snacks - I actually used to plan all of our snacks, too, but I found that this was an area that we just needed wiggle room on. So, I usually have a salty cracker - like goldfish or peanut butter crackers, a sweet - like graham crackers or animal crackers, and some fruits and veggies. This keeps everyone content while also keeping the grocery bill down.
4. Monthly - I actually don't shop by month very often simply because plans change, meals get skipped, and I end up with way more pasta in my pantry than I'll actually need for quite a while. You absolutely could take this a step further and store a grocery list with the menu for what you'd need each week. I just like to make mine all at once and add in the basics I'll need for the week. I shop every Monday (ideally), and since I always have at least one child with me, it is more valuable to me to shop the same grocery store where I know every aisle and can get in and out as quickly as possible than it is to "deal" shop.
5. Make Ahead - I try to prepare as much ahead as possible. Some of these meals are super easy to make a big batch of and freeze half, etc. This makes my life so very much easier!

And that's it! This isn't rocket science and for some of you, it'll sound like the worst idea in the world. Totally fine! Go on out withca bad self and come up with your own way of making space to enjoy the things and people you love.

If, however, you feel excited about this option...download either my summer menu or a blank one for you to fill out on your own! Another option is to buy a super cheap calendar and fill it out with your own color coding system. You do you, sister. You do you.

CLICK TO DOWNLOAD MY SUMMER MENU

CLICK TO DOWNLOAD BLANK MENU

The Down and Dirty Truth about Homeschooling

So, we're homeschooling. I've mentioned that I think, but I don't think I've told you about how we arrived at that decision, about how it's impacted our life, and about how it hasn't.

Before we even knew we were leaving Arvada, circumstances began to align in such a way that we felt led to homeschool. Adelle was in a public school in Arvada, and our experience there was good. Truly good. We did not choose to homeschool because we thought the public school system was failing us. But the more I studied the classical education model, the more sense it made to me - the more it sounded like a thing that would produce thriving, free-thinking, life-long learners - capable of having and defending their own thoughts and opinions in a thoughtful, respectful way. Homeschooling would also allow us to introduce our kids to certain ideas on our own timetable - all things sex, evolution, etc. We are not afraid of our children learning about those things, but we would like to decide when it's best to explain those ideas to them.

So, we began to pray about the idea, and after a series of events tripped over each other and fell at our feet, our answer seemed very clear. We would take Adelle out of a school she loved, and I would teach her at home.

Now, let me say that this was not the easy answer for us. Adelle and I, um, find ourselves at impasse at least once a day. We love each other a lot - and also we drive each other crazy. So, the thought of us being together all the day every day again made me nervous, real nervous. Throw in a preschooler and a toddler - and lawsy, I was terrified.

Fast forward to our move, to the fact that we didn't know what school district we would find ourselves in for the short term or the long term - and not enrolling Adelle in a school that she would just have to leave when we got settled, well that seemed like some pretty spectacular forethought on God's part.

Now, there are a few things that, 6 weeks in, homeschooling at my parents' house while we try to find a home to live in, etc, etc, etc - that I thought might be helpful for anyone that has ever considered keeping your kids at home for a year:

1. It's not that hard. I want to be careful here not to give unrealistic expectations. I am a semi-organized person who has been working with children in some capacity for most of my life. Even so, I'm not a trained teacher, and it's legitimately not that hard. The planning and teaching part, at least. So, don't feel like - oh gosh, how will I ever teach my kids? I'm not a teacher! You don't have to be. Seriously.
2. It's crazy, super hard. For this first year, at least, I have lost my ability to do much beyond be present with my kids all week. I feel like that might adjust a bit once we are in a space of our own, but for the time being - during the week - I am basically interacting with one of my kids at all times, which can be exhausting for all parties involved. The whining and the shouting and the neediness - I'm only one person!
3. You get to modify the plan. We are not a lifelong homeschooling family. We are a year by year, child by child family. And as we have moved into this year, we are finding that my middle one, Marilee, who hasn't spent much time in an organized classroom, is excelling in everything I'm teaching her - to the point that I can't quite keep up with her - and the best thing we can do for her is put her in a preschool experience - to see what might be best for her next year. So, Adelle and Jude will be home with me in the mornings while Marilee is in preschool. And next year, Adelle might just go back into public school. Or maybe private - but prolly not because of the dollars.
4. Life is school. We've had to adjust our thinking. We are still trying to adjust our thinking. It's school when we read a story or count to 100 or measure out flour. It's school when we talk about what day of the week it is - what day it was yesterday and what day it will be tomorrow. It's school when we look at prices of items in the grocery store and determine whether or not we have enough left in the weekly budget for the ice cream or not. It's school when we drill our math facts while racing across the swimming pool. It's school when we learn manners during a tea party. Life is one grand learning experience - it would do us all good to remember that once in a while.
5. Yesterday, I wanted to quit. Again, let me reiterate that our current experience is not the norm. We are in schooling in transition and will be doing so for a good month more. And yesterday, Adelle felt defeated, Marilee felt overlooked, Jude felt - loud, and I felt like the worst mama ever. Tired and all wrong - but then I remembered why we chose this for the year. Because of the slow - because we want our kids to grow up good and slow. And so if for a year, they are bored out of their minds (which I am learning how to combat), that's okay - because life is slower than it would be if she was in school. And it wouldn't be all bad if she was in school - honestly - but God said to go this route this year - and so we are sticking with it - trusting His sovereignty. 
6. I am learning as much as they are. While I am learning/re-learning all sorts of fantastic facts and concepts, I am also learning a great deal about myself - about my weaknesses, and my strengths. About trying too hard and not hard enough. About harsh tones and gracious touches. About each of my kids - how they learn - just how different they all are. That I need Jesus again and again and again all day long if I'm going to have a fighting chance at doing this well. About how much it matters that they see me needing Jesus.

I'll try to stop in every six weeks to give you an update - for anyone who is curious - about our homeschooling journey. I don't feel like I have a lot of concrete advice to give you right now simply because we are just beginning to make some good, concrete decisions. Ask anything you want - and I'll tell you what I have and haven't learned so far!

God Cares about the Mama Sheep: Part 2

This is a post I wrote about babies one and two between the birth of babies two and three - that now applies to my mornings with babies two and three (except that I am not currently expecting a fourth). And the wheel just keeps on turning...

I woke up at 5 heavy-hearted and uncomfortable in my bed. I prayed, cruised Facebook for a while, made a mental checklist for today, prayed some more and finally dozed back off at 6. We all slept until almost 8 this morning, and I felt pretty grateful for that. Marilee woke up all fluffy haired, puffy-eyed, and happy. Adelle was still sound asleep at 8:15 when I went to  close her door. I felt pretty grateful for all of those things, too.

I brewed coffee, watched pudgy hands wave goodbye to Daddy out the window, poured cereal for the pudgy hands to eat on all morning, and heard the pitter patter of little big girl feet down the hall. Hugs were exchanged by all, celebrations were had for late sleep-in mornings, and juice was prepared. Somewhere around this point, I looked over to see the pudgy hands pulling a cup of juice off the counter. There was nothing that could be done at that point. Sticky juice - all over the kitchen floor.

Here is where the happy, lazy morning came to an abrupt stop. I fussed at Marilee in a way that I'm pretty sure no 18 month old really understands, but this very same thing happened yesterday morning. Yesterday, y'all. Sticky juice - all over the dining room rug - as I was preparing breakfast. She reaches, grabs, climbs - all the time. I can't keep up with it, and I'm beginning to get pretty frustrated and EXTREMELY nervous about adding an infant to the mix around the time that her abilities become more impressive. Adelle knelt in front of the juice spill saying things like, "Now I don't have anymore juice. Why are you, like, slamming the paper towels? Marilee's coming back in the kitchen." My best bet, at that point, was to stay mostly silent and give the shortest answers possible. Marilee stood at the kitchen entrance crying, arms up begging to be held. My coffee sat on the counter, staring at me as I mopped, reminding me that it was rapidly losing its cozy warmth.

Monsters Inc. is our distraction of choice this morning. Well, it's theirs. Mine was the Jimmy Fallon/Justin Timberlake History of Rap number. As I watched it, I couldn't help but lament, once again, that The Tonight Show comes on SO DARN LATE. We are in bed asleep by 10 pm, y'all. Every night. And we don't DVR. So, looks like I'll just keep enjoying clips and wishing for more. Jimmy Fallon is one of the funniest people in the history of ever.

But I digress.

Between the heavy-heartedness and my ability to slip so quickly from snuggly morning bliss into cranky pants, mean mommy over spilled juice - one thing is glaringly clear...I need Jesus. I need Him at 5 am when the worry and the fear sneak in, at 8 am when the day calls me forth, at 8:15, 8:30, and 9 when life's little hiccups point straight to my weaknesses. I need Him at 9:15 when I get a text that The Hunk will, surprise!, be home later than usual because he forgot to tell me about a racket ball game. And I have to decide whether be a witchy poo about it or be gracious because, really, I'm glad he's doing something for himself - I'm just annoyed that his plans make mine a little more difficult to accomplish today. And he's the easiest target at which to point my spilled juice frustration.

I need the Good Shepherd. Fortunately, I know Him, and He cares about the Mama Sheep. Isaiah 40:11

Remember that today, ladies, whether you are at a job that you hate or one that you love - and the deadlines are pressing in and you have spilled juice on your pretty pants because you did the whole morning mommy routine in addition to your other job. Remember it if you are still in your jammies at nearly 10 am with a squirmy fuzz head in your lap and on your keyboard and a monotony that threatens to turn each day into an eternity. Remember that you have a responsibility to love and lead your babies well, to graciously and gracefully serve your man. Do remember all those things, but also remember that when you run into a wall of "I cannot do this for one more second," God cares about the Mama sheep, and walls aren't really a big thing for Him.

God Cares about the Mama Sheep: Part 1

We ate our Sunday dinner as planned. We cleaned up the kitchen as planned. The Hunk and Miss Magnificent went down for the resty roos as planned. And when all was quiet, I grabbed my Bible, my journal, threw on my favorite pair of flip flops, and headed down to the lake - eagerly anticipating my time alone with the God I had been aching for over the span of a year.

My mission: to remember who He is. Simply to focus on Him and leave myself out of the equation. I had grown weary of thinking about me. I was getting on my nerves. Where do you go when you need to look past yourself?

Isaiah. Isaiah 40 is where I landed, to be exact. And I began to read and reflect and read and reflect a little more about how even my most faithful acts are nothing more than wildflowers that God can blow over with a breath.That I am nothing and He is everything. And then about how gently Jesus cares for His sheep. I got to verse 11 and stopped.

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.

Hmmm. Those that have young? Like, the mama's? So I checked the margin to see if there was another verse referenced in connection with that one. Check out Genesis 33:13 - after Jacob has met Esau again and Esau has invited Jacob to travel with him. Jacob says:

My lord knows that the children are tender and that I must care for the ewes and cows that are nursing their young. If they are driven hard just one day, all the animals will die.

I just sat there in utter and complete awe. It was like God was whispering in my ear, "You matter. The mama sheep matter. If you are driven too hard, the rest of your flock will suffer, too. You are significant and I carefully guard all that is on your plate each and every day. I care about the mama's, Emily."

And so God swept down and touched one of my deepest heart hurts at the time. He told me that I mattered. That what I do matters. That He knows I can't take too much without the whole flock suffering. But that I can also do anything through Him.

That First Prayer

What would it be like if motherhood was my job - like the ultimate job that I’d hope and worked for my whole life - that tone I’d gone to school for, the one that energized me and made me feel alive? What would it look like if my focus, my heart, my energy went entirely into loving Josh and our kids well? How would our home change if I served them day in and day out without demands or lost tempers or expectations? What would it look like if I surrendered myself entirely to my birthright? To being a wife, a mother, a writer? What if I didn’t sell those things away for that which was right in front of me, that which numbs needs and, incidentally, God-given passion?

Lord, all I want is you and your sovereign, good plan. I don’t want what if’s and not enough and someday whens. I want Jesus right here and right now. Is Jesus worth it? Turn back and repent so that your sins may be wiped away, that seasons of refreshing may come from he presence of the Lord. You are worthy. I want you more than coffee, social media, and TV. I want your blessing, your favor, your plan, and your glory. I want a marriage that thrives and mirrors your relationship with the church. I want children who cling to your Word, who last it up like honey and take it as their own. I want to write from the rawest pieces of my life so that other women might feel less alone. More than anything, I yearn for your presence - and I can see that self has crept through my body like a cancer.

And what is there to do when disease has seeped in and taken root - why, starve it out of course, and beg God to heal you. So, for a bit, I stopped drinking coffee or using any type of social media. I trimmed my TV viewing way back, and I have to be honest - it was like the veil slowly lifted. 

More on that next week. Join me on my Instagram account and on my Facebook page this weekend for silly mama fun! 

Your Work Matters

But he said to him, "My lord knows that the children are frail and that the flocks and herds which are nursing are a care to me. And if they are driven hard one day, all the flocks will die. Genesis 33:13

They wanted us to share an experience with group - how we had seen God at work in this new church-planting world. We stood in front of a room of people who had given time and money to help us start a church, and I felt like I had nothing to offer. So, I told the truth. 

“My kids are 6, 3, and 1 - so honestly, I don’t get to be a part of a lot of what the church is doing. I have had moments when I think, ‘What in the heck am I doing here?’ But one day, while wearing my Storyline t-shirt, I met a fellow mama in the grocery store who wanted to know if my church was a good family church. I was able to talk with her honestly. I knew then that what we are doing here matters."

The line of sharers continued, most with far more moving stories than my own, and I continued to let my spirit sink because of it. After we wrapped things up, an older man walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. He’s one of those larger-than-life pastors that has obviously been shepherding people for years. He said, “Honey, don’t you worry about whether or not you’re doing enough. You are doing exactly what God wants you to be doing right now raising those babies. There’s nothing more important than that. So, we’ll set up and tear down the chairs for now. You can jump in and help us a little later."

I nearly fell to pieces beneath the weight of his hand and his words, because I needed someone to say that my work mattered, too.

Friends, we need to say this more to newer mama’s. I hear it over and over again from the ones with babies, toddlers, and preschoolers at home: “I feel like I’m not doing enough at church, in the community, etc, but I don’t know how to do any more.” 

Let me say to you now: The work you do in your home - it is enough. You are raising the next generation of our church, and that is a really big deal. God will let you know when it’s time and where to serve more. Don’t pressure yourself or let others pressure you into doing more than you can manage in this particular season!

And if no one is saying it to you, know that God sees you. He sees the value in your work! 

The Why

Be careful that no one falls short of the grace of God, so that no root of bitterness will spring up to cause trouble and defile many. See to it that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal.For you know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected. He could find no ground for repentance, though he sought the blessing with tears.…When God convicts me of a deep-rooted sin in my life, I find that it’s generally a good idea to reflect on how it got that way to begin with. Where did this start? Why do I struggle against it? So, with this deep discontent, I did the same. Hebrews 12:15-17

Why? Why did I fall out of love with mothering? Why did it become a heavy weight upon my shoulders? It isn’t because of my kids. My kids are imperfectly awesome  - seriously. So, why?

Because the reasons I fell in love with idea of mothering were selfish. Here are the lies I believed:

• Motherhood will fulfill, elevate, and complete me. This doesn’t negate my desire to have my kids grow up in a tender, loving home, but I also leaned on motherhood selfishly.
• Homemaking will allow me to do things my way - and motherhood is a significant piece of that. I held tightly to control and felt frustrated when things didn’t go my way. In parenting, things pretty much never go according to the plan.

So, I began to look elsewhere, to consider that I’d like to get a job and not be home anymore. There’s nothing wrong with working outside the home, but I was looking for something other than what God himself to fulfill me. Suddenly, I was Esau, ready to sell what God had entrusted me with for something that felt better in that small moment. 

Did you have certain expectations about motherhood? How have they panned out, and how does that affect your joy?