Book Review: Real Artists Don't Starve

It's Book Review day!

I have read each of Jeff Goins' books. I started with You Are a Writer (So Start Acting Like One). It came as a recommendation from my friend, Stacey Thacker, at a time when I was just beginning to explore writing with intention instead of just as a sort of online journaling practice. At that time, I had one two year old, and that is all. How different life was then! If only I had capitalized on all the time I didn't think I had! Regardless, Jeff's words gave me a good, forceful kick in the pants. I began to play with what it would feel like to actually CALL myself a writer.

Every book of his after that has inched me forward in my knowledge and calling of being a creative and, specifically, a writer. Wrecked helped me process passions and "discovering yourself" while still developing responsibility. It helped me think about a sense of calling and the things that I am inexplicably impassioned to do. The Art of Work helped me think about my life as a whole - and how every piece of it - even, maybe especially, the stretches that feel like stumbling around - are contributing to my calling and place in this world.

When I discovered the title of his newest book, Real Artists Don't Starve, I immediately placed my pre-order. We are at a place when I really need to contribute to the family income but I also still need a flexible schedule that allows me to be available to my kids. Additionally, I want a job that I don't hate. I'm doing a few odds and ends things, but I really want to be able to create for a living. So, if Jeff had a plan for helping me do that, I was game.

The point is not to make a fortune or become famous, but to do the work. We are all looking for a way to share our gift with the world without worrying about making a living. That means getting paid more than once for our creations. It means building a life that allows us to keep creating. - Jeff Goins, Real Artists Don't Starve

The reason I love Jeff's writing style is that he manages to motivate without sounding like a motivational speaker. I don't have anything against motivational speakers, but they really aren't my jam. Jeff manages to weave compelling stories with helpful advice, creating a very easy read that makes you honest-to-goodness want to get moving...and have a reasonable idea of how to take the first step. This, as a writer, I know to be a rare gift set!

In this particular book, Jeff takes us on a journey through the centuries, uncovering the stories of ancient, successful artists from all sorts of fields as well as "average Joe" creatives who have managed to make art and not starve in today's "New Renaissance." It's enormously interesting and inspiring - as well as unexpectedly practical.

If you have ever wanted to be a creator in any form or fashion - or suspect that you just might be a creative deep down inside - go get this book. It's a fun, inspiring, and most importantly, thrillingly practical. You will fly through it and then want to get started making art and not starving!

Book Review: Where'd You Go Bernadette

I promised you a book review this week, and a book review you shall have!

Where'd You Go, Bernadette? made its way to my "To Read" list more than a year ago. I had heard it recommended a few times but the clencher was on The Happy Hour with Jaime Ivey podcast. She was doing an interview with Jen Hatmaker who, without hesitation, recommended this as one of her favorite books at the time. She makes me laugh so if she finds a thing entertaining, I take it seriously.

The book, particularly the first half, is primarily written in the form letters between A LOT of different people. So, it takes a little getting used to at first. I kept thinking, "Wait, who is this person again?" But Semple does a good job of keeping things interesting without overwhelming you with characters. There is an air of mystery in the plot, but nothing terribly gripping to tell you the truth. I mean you really want to know where Bernadette went, but don't go into it expecting some sort of nail-biter.

The truth is, I love a good character. I care far less about plot lines and climaxes. Give me a character I can love and relate to and believe, and I am putty in your hands. I'll read until you stop giving me words. Bernadette is a fantastic character. She's just the right amount of crazy - the amount that you are pretty sure you have within yourself, and her daughter, Bee, whose voice is the primary one in the story, is this sort of perfectly adorable, pure, and appropriately snarky fourteen year old who takes life as it comes until her mother goes missing.

It is a story about finding yourself again but doing so without abandoning what's already there. I think you'll enjoy it so very much. You can borrow my copy if you want!


Don't forget to come back on Monday for The Down and Dirty Truth about Marriage. The first kiss is on the agenda for Monday, and you will, without a doubt, enjoy that one thoroughly! See you then!

Book Review: The Road Back to You

The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile

I feel like I need to begin by saying that I find self-discovery fascinating. To understand myself better is like an exciting treasure hunt that leads me around bends and into, admittedly, some dark, frightening spots. I emerge, though, in the end with the prize of awareness, better coping mechanisms, and a clearer understanding of my strengths and weaknesses. Through the years, these have granted me the freedom to be who I am, not who I think I am supposed to be. Additionally, I prize understanding people - where they are coming from, what makes them tick, and why they behave like they do. It's the first thing I set about doing when I move to a new place. It helps me feel connected when I understand people.

This is because I am a two on the Enneagram (The Helper). For those of you who have read the book, that means I'm the most relationally driven number on the nine point circle. This is the quote that began my chapter:

I want you to be happy, but I want to be the reason. - Unknown

If you aren't looking to feel very uncomfortable in your own skin for a chapter; if conviction and facing your most hidden (to you) sin tendencies is not what you want to do, then don't read this book. If, however, you want to wade into the waters of being made more whole and more holy, while also, surprisingly, finding yourself entertained, go get this book and read it ASAP. It's easy and fun to plow through aside from the chapter that pegs you. That chapter IS prickly but also freeing. For example:

At their best, Twos are warm and generous, and at their worst they're resentful martyrs. 

Ouch. Alternatively, I discovered I'm a Two with a Three wing:

Twos with a Three wing (2w3) are more ambitious, image-conscious and competitive. Extroverted and sometimes seductive like the Three (the Performer), they are more concerned about relationships and connections than Twos with a One wing. These Twos are more confident, so they achieve more; being seen as successful is a close second to being known as loving and generous. In this space Twos with a strong self-image can shape-shift like Threes to become whatever is called for to achieve the desired result.

After a thorough and easy to read chapter on what the Enneagram is and how to read it, Cron dives into each number. He provides a list of self statements that identify the number at hand, a story or two about real life Numbers played out, the Number's biggest sin tendency, what the Number looks like in relationships, at work, and as children, and what the Number looks like with wings (or Numbers around it whose traits it takes on) then he provides positive steps toward spiritual transformation for the Number.

In the end, it's helping me dig deep in my own life to identify where I've gone wrong over and again, and how I can avoid those same pitfalls again and again. It's also helped me hone in on how God has wired me individually, in positive ways. In the end, though, I feel most excited to employ this new knowledge in relation to Josh, my kids, and the people I'm in close relationship with.

I'll leave you with this quote from the final chapter that sums up the heart behind the whole book:

The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them. - Thomas Merton

I love, loved this one. I honestly believe it is beneficial to anyone who is looking for ways to improve as a human being, friend, and/or follower of Christ. Add it to your list!

If you read the book and have trouble identifying your number, you can take the test here and it will help you narrow it down. I took the test before I read the book and it pegged me EXACTLY!

What if reading is as important as cardio?

Can I tell you the truth? I grow so weary of having my senses flooded with "eat healthier" and "exercise" and "make sure your kids are eating this and this and this but not that or that." It exhausts me. Do you know why it exhausts me? Because physical wellness is not my jam. Please don't misunderstand. I firmly believe that there is great value in staying active and making wise food choices in moderation. Firmly. But consuming a salad feels the exact same to me as eating grass out of my backyard, and I think working out is torture akin to root canals.

That's the truth.

Exercising my mind, though - ahh. There is no greater high or release for me. Give me a good book that sends me sailing through oceans I'll never see with my eyes or enlightens my mind with new thoughts and ideas, that breed my own new thoughts and ideas - that sweep me up in wonder of a God who is always more, who is in it all, who is over it all. Yes, give me that and you'll see me ride a high not unlike the one all those crazy-brained runners describe.

So, I try to respect all the "Eat good food" and "Exercise a lot" shouts and nudges that fly at me from every direction, because if it means to them what reading and learning and experiencing mean

to me, I have to consider that maybe it's all important to our big, good Father - who allows pieces of His passions to be reflected in all of His creation!

Why, though? Why is it that important?

Reading breeds compassion. We can enter worlds, cultures, and lifestyles that we would never normally come in contact with or even begin to understand otherwise. This is invaluable for us as human beings and followers of Christ.

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view." - Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Reading breeds self-awareness. When we fill our mind with information that better helps us define who we are and what we believe as individuals, we are better able to interact with the world around us - particularly the relationships we find ourselves in. All truth is God's truth and, in my experience, reading is one of the most effective ways to explore truth.

“The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.” David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest

Reading breeds rest. Reading is not unlike exercise. While you are doing it, if it is a thing you do not do regularly or do not particularly love doing, you might hate its guts. Truly - I believe you about that. I do not understand you, but I believe you. However, reading - or even listening to an audio book - forces our minds to slow, to hear/read the language, and to formulate thoughts and images of our own. It forces our brains create images and ideas that were not pre-formulated for us visually, which in time increases our ability to think creatively and engage with the world arounds us. And just like a good workout, it might help you sleep better at night.

"Reading forces you to be quiet in a world that no longer makes room for that." John Green

Reading breeds reading. The most important thing you can do to help your children become life long readers is model reading as a priority in your own life - even if reading isn't your jam like exercise isn't mine. Facebook articles and Internet scanning are the fast foods of reading, y'all. Treat them as a now and then option but not as your main method of feeding your brain and creativity! Let your kids see you reading or hear you listening to an audio book. It matters!

"A child who reads will be an adult who thinks." Anonymous

That being said, I'm on a quest this summer to do some reading like it's my glorious, make-a-million dollars job. My kids are old enough now that time is not COMPLETELY eaten up with diapers changed and sippy cups refilled and boo boos kissed. There is a little more margin, and I'm filling mine with books - in an alternating Non-Fiction/Fiction pattern. I'll be posting reviews as I finish them - hopefully every Thursday! Stop back by to find out what's great and what's good and what's probably for book-y people only - like the burpees of the workout world.

And now without further adieu, my summer reading list in chronological order. #englishmajor

Don't Leave Out the Messy

I need to say something.

Don't leave out the messy.

Josh had a conversation with some friends of his the other day about starting a new church - about how they would do it if they had the chance (and the desire or calling). Their answers were honest, thoughtful, and honestly very helpful for Josh and me as we mulled over and through them.

The one that had me stuck for a few days was about being real and relevant. You all know that I've touched on this many times before. I think that I am pretty real. I don't pretend that I'm something that I'm not - or at least not intentionally. You know that my marriage is good but it isn't perfect, my children are incredible but, good gravy they are sinners, and I have conversations like this with my sister:

I am an over achiever. I love books that help me know how to pursue Jesus more and better. I also love books that allow me to escape my every day life. I struggle to choose joy every day. I still enjoy watching the Twilight series. (Don't laugh. Okay, laugh if you must. Roll your eyes even. It's justified.) Sometimes I still wonder if people really like me. I need lots of verbal affirmation and that annoys me about myself. I drink wine about three times a year because, good lawsy, I love a glass of Pinot Grigio. I don't drink wine during all the rest of the year because it can make some people uncomfortable. And I don't need it. And coffee is enough of a vice for me, thankyouverymuch. And addiction runs in my family. I'm an awful long distance friend (I'm so sorry to all of you who haven't heard from me in person in an embarrassing amount of time.) And Friends will forever and always be my happy place.

What I want to convey to everyone is that I am who I am - we are who we are - all of the time, whether it's weird for us to drink or weird for us not to drink. Whether you think I'm a loser for watching Twilight or stinking awesome (Go ahead - toss me another eye roll). I haven't always been this way, but I am now - and it is so blissfully freeing! Seriously.

Are you? Real, I mean - and free? Y'all, don't leave out the messy. I doodled this in my journal a few mornings ago. And by messy, I mean anything that doesn't quite fit in your box - whatever your box is - don't leave it out. Talk through it. Say you don't know. Say you're ticked and God is on your bad list today. Yes. Do that. But also, say that you do know. Say that you are grateful and God is the redeemer of your bad list.

Real swings both ways, friends.

Aaannd...lest you think I'm tooting my own real horn here:

What I'm pretty sure I'm not is relevant - particularly in this new, very different, very interesting (the good kind) culture we find ourselves living in. So, in an effort to be more relevant because I want to hang out with my fun neighbors and have something to talk about besides my favorite Friends episode or the latest and best Christian woman author book I've read, in 2015 I commit to -

• Read twelve new books, six of which would never have been on my reading list before. I'm still deciding what these books will be, but I hope to keep you updated. Suggestions are welcome!
• Grow my knowledge base about the history of our new little town and farmhouse architecture in general.
• Watch Jimmy Fallon be hilarious as much as possible.
• Be a better listener.
• Still watch plenty of Friends.
• Still read Christian woman author books.

It gets tricky practicing both, I think - because what if being relevant means you have to change who you are? Then you aren't real and that doesn't make sense either. 

How do you practice being real and being relevant?

Prolific Reader...or just Reader

When I attended the She Speaks conference nearly a year ago I set some goals for myself...goals that I derived directly from the brilliant and gracious already established writer speakers.  One of them was to become a prolific reader.  This has proven to be a little tricky with a toddler in my home, but I'm learning to chose reading over TV watching...it's amazing how much more I learn and absorb in 30 minutes of reading versus 30 minutes of TV.  So am I prolific?  Notsomuch.  But I am reading MORE, which means I'm at least moving TOWARD the goal.

I've always loved to read - anything that allows me to escape into a reality entirely different [and preferably more perfect...because I have perfection issues...we know this] than mine.  In other words, novels are my books of choice.  I read for knowledge, too, of course, but only the sort of knowledge that seems directly applicable to my life right that second.  It occurred to me after that conference that if I want to be a well rounded writer, I really do have to broaden my horizons in the reading department.

So when my mom handed me Same Kind of Different as Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore to take as "light reading" on our Caribbean Love Rekindling Cruise, I threw it in my bag and thought, "We'll see about that."

I knew that it was going to be challenging.  I knew that it would force me to open my eyes and my heart and possibly some new hurt for a people I barely even knew existed.  Not warm and fuzzy or delightfully entertaining...or so I thought.

It WAS challenging.  And it DID force me to open my eyes and my heart.  And it opened up a whole can of HURT for those who have nothing...and yet maybe have so much more than I can fully grasp at this moment.  But it was ALSO warm and fuzzy and delightfully entertaining.  I laughed and I cried and I will never be the same again.

Denver won my heart and if I ever met him in person I would have to fight the urge to give him a giant hug.  I grew to love him that much through his simple wisdom and understated humor!  It turned out to be painfully delightful...you really should give it a go :)

I also just finished Kevin Leman's How to Make Your Child Mind Without Losing Yours.

It was so very helpful!  In a world where parenting strategies are plentiful and primarily ineffective, this was a refreshingly logical, Biblical approach to parenting.  Here's the deal...it's easy to affection the mess out of your kid.  It's rock stinkin' hard to help them learn how to be functioning, God-honoring members of the human race.  But Kevin Leman gives practical, use it right now, hands on tips for molding your child!  Light on the theories, heavy on the real life.  Just the way I like it.  In my opinion, it's a perfect follow up to the Baby Wise method.  It's all about your children being grafted into your existing family life...not about your family life being reshaped to fit their little stinker potted molds :)

And my two day summer read...oh it was so enjoyable.  Warm and fuzzy through and through!  Honest, lightly deep...quite the readable chick flick.  If you just want an escape, this is your book!

Mary Beth Whalen's The Mailbox.  Get it.  Read it.  And then we'll plan a girl's trip to North Carolina to see the blessed landmark.  Mm-kay?

Priceless

I've always been a reader...novels in particular tickle my fancy but as of late, reading time has been minimal.  And reading material has primarily been of the be a better mom, be a better wife, be a better follower of Jesus  nature.  And those things are good - no doubt about it - but sometimes I need to read just because I love it.  Because I need to hear the voice and the language and the passion of another through the stories that come from his or her own fascinating imagination.  Doing so inspires me and stretches me and makes my imagination a little grander.  

Recently I started reading The Founding Brothers by Joseph J. Ellis because I happen to be a closet history fanatic whose knowledge base is quickly diminishing since her History minor days of yore.  It reads like a well written, interesting history text book.  I like it.  But I have to focus to really absorb all the details.  And I had sinus surgery on Tuesday.  So I figured what with all the meds and such that would be coursing through my veins for the week following, I might should go with something that required a little less focus.  

Priceless has been resting on my shelf since late July when I attended the She Speaks conference.  Tom was there signing books and giving them away to many-a eager woman...woman reader that is.  Anyway, I had never heard of his book but who am I to turn down a freebee??  So, I asked him what his book was about.  When he started talking, passion connected the lines that moved excitedly across his face.  He said it was about a man and his journey to help fight against sex trafficking in Russia.  He said some other things that I can't remember but it was his passion that drew me in.  And his message to me in the front cover scribbled in his authoresque handwriting:  

Emily, 

So glad to meet you.  

Until there is justice,

Tom Davis 

Who doesn't want to read something that merits such an amazing, passion filled autograph?!  And for the record, I'm not really an autograph kinda girl.  I don't think it's that big of a deal to have someone's signature on a piece of paper but I'm pretty sure I'll think this one's cool forever!  

All I'm saying is that if you want to be inspired.  If you want to be moved to action and enjoy a good read at the same time, Priceless is a great place to start.  Tom is in the know about things of this nature and the details of his book are based on fact.  I implore you to read it and then when you are grieved and enraged to the point of action, visit his website to see how you can be a part of saving millions of helpless girls each year.  I have no idea what my role is in defending the helpless, but I am asking Him to show me.  I so hope you'll do the same!