Mayhave's

Because it's the weekend and we all need a little breather from the intense stuff, I think it's time to say:

I may or may not have...

1. Jammed hard to this on my N'Sync Pandora station during a late evening Walgreen's run.



2. While in Louisiana, upon entering a very upscale, can't afford a blasted thing in this treasure trove of my dreams boutique, had this interchange with my sister:

Molly: Do you ever wonder if they're thinking, "What are they doing in here? They drove up in a Corolla."

Me: Yes, but I feel like they're thinking, "Oh my gosh - she doesn't even have earrings on."

We recognize that this is passing judgement on so many levels and is incredibly shallow, and it was mostly just a joke. Mostly. It's just that a Corolla looks really simple next to a row of gleaming Escalades and Lexus SUV's.

3. Yesterday as I dove into October's issue, felt every bit as excited about Southern Letter from the Editor as I did the unbelievable Arkansas cottage. M. Lindsay Bierman, you speak my language.

4. Thought of Jessica Day as my bangs muse last night as I readied for my date.



5. Because it's Fall and Fall makes me want to bake like a fool, felt the urge to bake chocolate chip cookies yesterday even though we have Pumpkin Pound Cake and a host of packaged sweets [it being Pastor Appreciation Week and all]. I resisted the urge.

 

Want to have a go? It's really fun. Quirky truth that a lot of people probably don't know about you!

Mayhave Monday: Dirty Word Whoopsie

As previously mentioned, the stinker had/has a cold for the past too many days.  We did, however, manage to have a little fun this weekend.  She wore Daddy's shorts AND Mama's t-shirt.  We got her stool that Daddy made her all painted and personalized.  Aaaand we spent a lot of time accessorizing the snotty nose.  All around we've made the best of the situation, I think.

Shmoopsy poo!  Look at those poor, sweet, sick eyes!  Don't you just want to snuggle her half to death??

So, I MAY be considering combining our family blog and Down and Dirty.  Well, I am considering it.  I just haven't made a final decision.  I don't really like how it forces me to compartmentalize our lives into our family life and my thoughts as a human being.  You really cannot get one without the other.

I also MAY or MAY NOT have said a dirty word while trimming back my pretty blue flower bush because it looks a little wild and because, hello, these little guys add so much to my kitchen.  

When The Hunk got home from his grill buying adventure I asked him to go take a look in the bush that elicited the dirty word from my clean lips [insert exceedingly merited eye roll].  He went over.  Took a look.  And his jaw dropped.  He then dug around in the garage for an appropriate tool and....

...tried to retrieve the dirty word worthy item.  And then he realized I was taking pictures and said...

... "Really?"  And I said..."We have to document this."  And mostly I just enjoy watching him with anything that resembles...

...a snake.  Some disgusting snake used MY overgrown pretty flower bush to shed his skin.  Sickedy, sick, sick.  Sick.  Some of it is still in the bush because it was all tangled up.  We figure it's about 2 feet long.  TWO FEET!  Excellent.  So excited about that.  It did provide me with some serious amusement from my man.  He hates snakes.  Deep down in his soul hates 'em.  Homey isn't scared of anything but snakes.  He doesn't do snakes.  Wouldn't even touch the skin with his hands...the pokey retrieval device was absolutely necessary.  

You would've said a dirty word, too, right?!

Alright, somebody hit me with something.  Surely ONE of you has a funny story to share or a [maybe notsofunny] lesson learned??  Leave a comment or link up!

Mayhave Monday: Where Clothes Reign Supreme

I MAY or MAY NOT have spent an hour adding fourteen dresses to my Amazon wishlist from Shabby Apple.  FOURTEEN!  [They are not paying me to talk about them.  They do not know I exist.]

Knowing all the while that they will probably remain but a wish for all time seeing as how I'm the worst money saver there ever was.  It's still fun to look at them.  Art on a screen...or on a body on a screen...is what that is.

I MAY also have taken some time researching the top items every woman should have in her closet.  This resulted directly from a frustrating trip to Gap, Banana Republic, and J.Crew, where I dreamed of what it would be like to be dressed in such fashions instead of old shorts and plain tank tops.  I need to become a trained shopper, you see, learning where to splurge and where to pinch.  Buying cheap doesn't always turn out the cheapest in the long run, I'm discovering, so I'm on a mission to be an educated shopper.  I'll let you know how it goes.  Here is a list of the top ten items every woman needs in her closet according to one gal.  I agree with all of 'em except the suit.  In my case, there really is no need for a suit.

Lately I've become intensely aware of my mommy-ness.  I sing Row, Row, Row Your Boat on command while driving and putting on lipstick.  I watch as dry cereal is spilled all over the bathroom floor...while I'm in the shower.  When I get in bed at night, I'm already imagining how wonderful that first taste of coffee will be the following morning.  I use the corners of my shirts to wipe a snotty nose, a syrupy-hand, or any other messy substance that may be found.  I kiss boo boos and quote children's books and hose out tee tee diaper trashcans.  I pick up the house ten times a day and find lost lovies and spend a boat load of energy on disciplining and guiding and NOT doing it in anger.

And for a little while, it was just nice to go to a world where beautiful dresses reign supreme.  Don't get me wrong...I like where I live.  I love being a mommy!  I have/am learning to embrace the chaotic monotony, but everyone needs an escape from the everydays now and again.

What about you?  Any truth nuggets for us this week?

Mayhave Monday: The Return

I MAY or MAY NOT HAVE been ready for girls night this weekend an hour before leaving time.  I may have been sitting at my computer, purse ready, lipstick on, waiting for one of these said girls to arrive when she knocked on the door.  I was THAT excited about hanging out with some of my favorite women in all of this forsaken city!  And I am THAT nerdy.  For the record, the night was totally worth the anticipation.  SO. MUCH. FUN.


The Hunk and I MAY or MAY NOT be enjoying Miss M's new bath crayons as much as more than she is.  Maybe.

I MAY or MAY NOT have become giddy whilst dining at my new favorite restaurant simply because it felt like Louisiana.  The Hunk MAY or MAY NOT have seen an actual change in my demeanor when we got settled in at our table.  Maybe.  I MAY  or MAY NOT view said restaurant as a present just for me from our sweet Father. It's possible, right?

And I KNOW that I am overwhelmed with your prayers and support through the past couple of months.  You have doled out loving kindness in impressive portions and I just want to say thank you.  I love you all like CA-razy...fo' reals.

Now, link up with your Mayhave Monday post.  Some piece of truth that God is teaching you...anything at all.  I genuinely want to know!

Mayhave Monday: Soapbox Warning

I MAY or MAY NOT take this time today to stand on a soapbox.  I apologize if I sound preachy.  It is not my intention but I feel that a statement needs to be made so here goes nothin'...

Your church leadership...your pastors...they are men and/or women...only having as much God in them as you do.  They are flawed and imperfect and they WILL make mistakes.  You will not agree with every decision they make.  You cannot.  You are both human.  There is something you must decide, though, when you choose to be a part of a church...Do you trust your pastors?  If you don't, then you really should look for a new church.  And then if you decide that yes, yes you do trust your pastors.  And then they make a decision or allow a decision to be made that feels icky to you.  That SEEMS all wrong, well then you've already decided to trust them - and their commitment to follow God with their whole hearts. 

We all have an opinion.  Heck, I usually have about 15 on every subject.  Sometimes my opinions don't match with those of leadership.  But back when I decided to trust them, I made a decision to humble myself and submit to their leadership.  I'm not saying you should never question...and ask to be helped in the understanding of why they've made the decisions that they have.  Especially when something feels particularly wrong or unbiblical to you.  You should ask.  It's what helps keep them accountable.  I'm pretty sure they're grateful to be held accountable when your concerns are honest and presented in love and humility. 

So before you get all huffy and puffy, examine all parts of the situation.  What it might look like from your leader's standpoint.  What you have seen their hearts to be in the past.  And the tremendous responsibility they walk around with. 

Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. James 3:1

And what God might be trying to teach you through the situation.  And remember that regardless of what we or they do, God's plan prevails!

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.  Proverbs 16:9

I'm preaching at myself, too, for the record.  God is teaching me a great deal about the weight of leadership and I'm choosing to embrace it...and make every effort to love, respect, and support the heck out of those who lead me spiritually.  Want to try it with me?

Mayhave Monday: Your Turn

So...today is Mayhave Monday.  But my child has been sick all weekend which means that I have been confined within these walls for upwards of 4 days.  My word bank is slim.  Real slim, people.  So today let's make it about you and the truth in your life!  You tend to say things better than me anyway.  Ready?  Go.

Mayhave Monday: Undone

Well, the trip was nice.  The weather was gorgeous.  The shopping was pleasant.  And lunch hit the spot.  Oh, and Miss M was a rock star.  Between my Mama, me, and The Hunk [he decided to go with us] - we were able to keep her from grabbing the china in the antique stores ;)  We let her have at the Miss Magnificent sized shopping cart...

And the beach hat that I really wanted to purchase...

It's probably better that I didn't because in the end I would've known that she looks way cuter in it than me.  Anyway...

I MAY or MAY NOT find myself struggling with my current circumstances...again.  Or still.  My Mama and Daddy are here visiting - and nothing quite allows you to lower the walls like a good Mama and Daddy.  They know you, ya' know?  So yesterday my Mama said, "Em, you're kinda melancholy, huh?"  And I said, "Yeah I guess I am."  And she said, "What's the deal with that?"

Truth is, I don't really have a clear answer.  That's part of the struggle.  Part of the reason for the melancholy.  This place where God has us.  It feels a little like that dress you bought because it looks awesome.  And because it was on sale.  And it mostly fit.  I mean, you could make it work.  But every time you put it on, you feel a little uneasy - a little unsure - a little undone.  The hardest part about being in this place, though, is not that it causes me to feel undone but that it doesn't seem to make The Hunk feel undone and that God isn't making Himself clear in whether or not this is the perfect dress for us right now.  Or whether or not there IS  a perfect dress.

I also don't know how to do this - to stay close to my family who lives so far from me.  To know about their lives.  To make an effort to be in their lives without being in their lives.  The only way I know how to survive it - the missing of the people who are so dear to me - is to compartmentalize.  When I am there, to be all there.  And when I am here, to be all here.  But that sucks because people wonder whether I still care about them or miss them or want to be in their lives.  Or maybe they don't but I feel like they do.  Trying to merge these two worlds I exist in is so painful.  I don't really know what to do about that.

I'm also frustrated with God.  And feeling a bit distanced from Him.  I have asked if He would please either take away these desires that threaten to tear apart my deceivingly weak heart or hurry up and grant them already.  He has done neither.  And I don't understand.  So I'm annoyed.  I'm trying not to be annoyed.  Or at least trying to pretend that I'm not.  But I am.  And He knows I am.

And that's it.  That's the absolute truth.  Unaltered.

Tomorrow will be lighter - literally.  Get excited.

Link up below, people!  You're slackin'.  But I still love ya'.

Keep on keepin it down and dirty!

Mayhave Monday: What if the true truths DID collide?

I may or may not constantly battle against the busyness bug. [I really do love alliteration. I can't help it.] If I find myself sitting with a cup of tea and no task at hand, I feel guilty. And lazy. And not good enough. Somehow I feel like The Hunk and I should fill our weekends with fun for Miss Magnificent - so that she's appropriately stimulated and exposed to God's world. But maybe, just maybe, taking a family bike ride is the most stimulation she needs.  Maybe it's the best stimulation we can offer her.  And maybe togetherness in silence over lunch is enough. It's not time wasted. I may or may not have thought of it as time wasted until The Hunk said, "I'm just enjoying being here with you."

I know that God is reminding me of the importance of stillness. Of rest. Of down time. It keeps popping up - all around - in the seemingly unconnected. Twice I was led to the Ten Commandments last week. Take a look-see at the one about the Sabbath. God devoted a lot of words - a lengthy explanation - to His "observe the Sabbath" rule. Maybe it's because He knew we would struggle against rest. Some of 'em are pretty cut and dry. Pretty obvious because, well, to disobey them goes against humanity. Do not murder. Do not steal. Do not commit adultery [although that one, sadly, is getting rather muddied]. But observe the Sabbath. Take an entire day to rest. Do nothing. Prepare your food. That is all. Does anyone actually do that anymore?? I want to. He also says to keep it holy.  So, I don't think that resting means finding another stationary way to distract our minds. To enter another reality. I think it means stopping physically and resting in Jesus spiritually.

Be still and know.

Go to Jesus for rest.

What does God desire my modern day Sabbath to look like, I wonder? What does He desire yours to look like?

You can rest. You can rest for a whole day if you want. You should rest for a whole day, apparently. Maybe we would be better, bolder, more peaceful people if we took time to let the Holy Spirit grab hold of the hands of our thoughts and tumble, roll, and wrestle with them through the fields of our reality.

 Maybe the true truths WOULD collide and it would be good.

Maybe.

Keep on keepin' it down and dirty. Love y'all like crazy!

You're turn! Link up to YOUR POST so we can see what truth is click clackin' through your life this week!

Don't Judge

I MAY or MAY NOT be crazy on multiple levels.

1.  I never explained Mayhave Mondays.  Mayhave is not a word.  I made it up.  Lots of times when I'm telling something embarassing or ridiculous about myself, I start my story with, "I MAY or MAY NOT..."   Thus, Mayhave.  That's why we've been starting our posts with that very phrase.  Using that phrase to start your post is not necessarily a rule but it IS pretty fun.  The rule is still simply that you share some truth from your life.  That's it.  Mayhave Monday just sounded catchy to me.  And it's my blog so I can make stuff up if I feel like it.

2.  Friday was supposed to start Fun Friend Friday.  But I forgot it was Friday.  I did not forget about Fun Friend Friday...only the day of the week that I was living in.  What is this other alliterative ditty you have going on, you ask?  I thought that perhaps you might get tired of hearing from only me.  It's nice to hear other voices, I say.  I just happen to know a lot of people with different passions and abilities and voices/writing styles!  And they have pledged their loyalty to the Down and Dirty mantra.  Well, maybe not KNOWINGLY - but they sho nuff do a good job of keepin' it real.  They have agreed to write posts for me!  Coming up on Friday is my Fun Friend [how long before you get tired of saying that in your head?], Lauren!  Get excited because she is GREAT on multiple levels!

And now for my real Mayhave post:

I MAY or MAY NOT have been so inspired by the sea of creamy beauty while watching Say Yes to the Dress that I pulled my own wedding dress out of my Hope Chest and managed to zip it up...and watched a full episode while wearing it.  It's possible that did happen.

I MAY or MAY NOT have thought I was going to die while bike riding with The Hunk and Miss Magnificent because I am THAT out of shape.  It's ridiculous, really.

I MAY or MAY NOT get TO-tally swept up in this song every time I hear it.  It's possible that I think it's the sexiest song I've ever heard.  Don't judge.  I MAY also have a crush on Garrett Hedlund.  Maybe.  BUT...for the record...this song makes me think of The Hunk.  Honest.  Every time.

Your turn to link up to YOUR Mayhave Monday post!  Seriously...I'm loving them.  Y'all are so much fun!

Peace out.

Em

Mayhave Monday: Church Skipper

I MAY or MAY NOT have skipped the church service yesterday.  I started my morning happy and excited to get there and spend time with friends and take a break from responsibilities...to be a part of the crowd.  One Sunday every once in a while of just being a part of the crowd helps me cope with the fact that my family and I SO are not just part of the crowd. 

Then there WAS a crowd outside of Miss Magnificent's room.  Parents waiting with their whining toddlers.  And I was determined just to be one of 'em.  Not to volunteer my knowledge or services.  I was just going to stand there until someone issued a solution for the problem.  But I couldn't.  You know I couldn't.  Two minutes into my determined part of the crowdness I marched myself to the front and volunteered to stay with the kiddos until the teacher arrived.  No teacher ever arrived, for the record.  And I spent my morning changing diapers and wiping snot noses and getting really annoyed.

So when my relief came - after LIFE group was over and service was scheduled to start - I was already severely cranky.  She walked in and said to my little girl, "Oh, your Daddy is The Hunk [except she said his real name]!"  And I turned from my diaper changing duties and said, "Yes, and I am his wife."  And then I was 8 shades of done.  Not because she was anything but kind or meant anything by the recognition of my child but it WAS because of the recognition of my child that I was done.  I've always been terrified of my kids being forced to live in the spotlight.  Since the day The Hunk decided vocational ministry was where God wanted him.  And there it was...some random woman who I certainly do not know reconized my baby.  And her Daddy. 

I peaced outta there ASAP without the heart to go to service.  Instead I grabbed a coffee and sat for some reflection.  How do I deal?  How do I push through that which brushes the deepest fears of my heart?  Or the deepest hurts?  I go to my Father.  I stop and let His Spirit move around in the deep - easing the fears and healing the hurts. 

I missed the service yesterday.  I did.  I'm not saying you should skip just because you had a bad morning.  Usually that's exactly when you SHOULDN'T skip.  All I'm saying is that the Holy Spirit taught me some stuff because or inspite of my shady service skipping.

More on THAT tomorrow.  Now get your hineys in gear.  Write something real and true and link up to YOUR POST below!

Keep on keepin' it down and dirty.  Love y'all like crazy!

Em

A Grace Dwellin' Kinda Girl

I MAY or MAY NOT be one of those girls who gets her feelings hurt when someone doesn't want to read her blog.  Or come to her party.  Or her Bible Study.  Or think she's fun.  I MAY or MAY NOT try my darndest to be one of those girls who doesn't care.  Who just lives the pants right off of life because she wants to.  Because it's life, and what else would you do with it?  And why worry about who likes the same stuff as you and who doesn't?

Alas, I fall short every stinkin' time.  In my head, I always tell myself that the opinion of others doesn't matter.  They didn't REALLY fail to come to the hospital when you had your baby because they don't care.  They just got busy.  And you're only there a few days, after all.  In my head, I KNOW this to be true.  In my heart, though, I cannot fight the urge to be sensitive.  To fall to pieces inwardly and throw my hands up at the whole putting yourself out there thing.  Because it's tiring, you know, to put yourself out there.  All the time.  And never be quite sure that it's reciprocated.  Exhausting, actually.

And then I feel all frustrated and icky because clearly I'm self-consumed.  And will I ever grow out of this poor, pitiful me-ness?  And for the love, will I ever be of any use whatsoever to God when I'm so caught up in myself?

Miraculously, the answer is yes.  I'm reading through the Old Testament currently.  I'm still in Genesis, people, and I'm here to tell you that it is chocked FULL of some seriously selfish, not to mention exceedingly shady, people who God flat used the heck out of!  Abraham...yes THAT Abraham...the father of Israel.  He passed his wife off as his sister.  Twice.  And the first time she was taken into a ruler's home.  As his lady friend.  And this was AFTER God had told him that he was going to be the father of a nation.  But he was still scared.  Scared enough to give his wife away.

The list goes on and on and on.  Why does God do it?  How does he see past our fears and insecurities and failures - far enough to use us for something great?

Jesus.  And grace.

I cannot be THAT girl without grace.  I cannot.  How will I become a grace dwellin' kinda girl?  How will you?

Keep on keepin' it down and dirty.  Love ya'll like crazy!

Your turn...

Outside the Box

Here's the rundown on Mayhave Monday - the rules of the game, if you will.  There's really just the one...it has to be truth.  Anything in your life that is true...something God has taught you, a funny little anecdote that people might not expect to hear from you or about you, a crazies confession...nothing is off the table!  Mine, I assure you, will vary from week to week.  Because there's a a whole lotta truth bouncin' around in my life that looks like a whole lotta different things!  Then link up below.  My prayer is that speaking truth will break the chains of isolation.  And now for my first installment...

I MAY or MAY NOT have been apprehensive about leading a group of primarily single women when this whole shindig began.  Not because I didn't think they would be great but because I was certain that I would not be great.  I never really was single, which if I'm being honest I have regretted a time or two.  So, how would I relate to them?  How would they relate to me?  Would they think I was fun enough?  Current enough?  Leader-ish enough?  Or worse, TOO leader-ish?

And then God gave me a pretty lamp and a coffee pot and Kelly Minter's Ruth study.  It showed up in the most unlikely of places for me - a passion for a group of women to know God better and more.  To be honest I felt a little cornered in the beginning.  Before I met them.  I felt like I had been forced into a situation that was not circumstantially idyllic in my little mind.  Truth is I kinda was.  The Holy Spirit was shifting and moving things all around so that I would essentially be forced into something that would change me, mold me, make me think less of me.

We all walked into that very churchy classroom that I desperately tried to warm with my lamp find and a sheet turned table cloth aching for the same thing.  Community.  And they are fifteen[ish] of the most wonderful women EVER.  They are genuine and kind and life experienced.  They are eager and loving and generous.  I. FELL. IN. LOVE...IMMEDIATELY.

So I challenge you to think, look, feel outside of the box.  You may just find your passion waiting for you there!  It's okay if you're not real sure about how it's all gonna jive.  God is a professional jive Creator.  He's cool like that.


Now your turn...join us for Mayhave Monday??  Leave a link to your blog POST detailing some truth in your life!